an open letter
I talked to you yesterday. You lied about returning a movie. I texted your mom. Turns out you lied about telling her what happened between us. Then you told me you told your stepdad. Turns out, you lied about telling him, too.
Why do you keep lying? What is that going to help? I always find out. Always. You’re a terrible liar. Stop lying, or we’re never going to get past this. Tonight, I find myself for the first time, blindly optimistic about it. I just talked to your stepdad for an hour on the phone about everything that’s been going on. He gave me a lot of insight and I gave him a lot too. There’s a lot you left out, Rodney. You needed to tell them everything. I told him. Everything. You will never be able to get help if you aren’t 100% honest. You will never he truly better if you continue to lie. Please stop lying. You do it to make yourself look better. But the thing is, once I find out that you lie, (and I always do) you make yourself look worse. So much worse. So just, I’m begging you. I’m begging you. stop lying. It’s the only way this will ever work. You just need to finally come clean. About everything. I know there’s more lies you’ve told me. Why would these be the only ones?
I can never forgive you if i keep finding out there more to forgive you for. So just, you need to stop lying. you HAVE to, if you want this to ever work. You have no other option, but to just come completely clean. No option at all. Because if you don’t start being honest with me, you WILL lose me, and that’s a promise. And it’s not sometihng I want, nor do I think it’s something that you want. So stop lying, because all it does it hurt me more and make it harder for me to trust you. How do you expect me to be able to get over this if I’m continuing to find out about your lies? I can’t. is the answer. I can’t do it. So stop, please.
just get better please, Rodney. I need this. So do you. We need eachother. I’m not going down without a fight. But you need to fight too. You need to do a lot of things. One of those things is being completely honest. Because you’ve never been before, and I’d hope that you realized by now, that that’s done nothing good for us. So do sometihng good for us. Make it better. Tell me the truth. Even if it hurts or makes you look bad. Just do it. Because even if you don’t and I find it in me to forgive you one day, and if by the chance of some strange miracle I don’t find out and we wind up back together, it will all be a lie. I want to be something real, something true. And thats not possible if you continue to lie. So stop.
